Dear reader,
You are here because you are interested in this story that has been told to us all so crassly.
The case has absolutely nothing to do with any religion at all.
It’s a simple matter of dignity and my want to retain mine.
When I started working at Rocket I was required to wear black clothes (trousers and shirt).
On my fourth shift at the restaurant I was given a red tight dress to wear. I immediately refused, as I did not believe that wearing a red dress was appropriate. The bar was already full of men who seem to believe that they can buy anything and parading around in a red dress would make me seem available.
I did not invent the notion that wearing a red dress means that a woman is sexy, flirty, easy, fun, available, and daring. This is what a red dress has come to represent in our culture. And “not many women can carry it off” according to rather a few stylists here in London.
According to one of the Sun's readers I "should be paid to wear a burka" because I am so ugly; a comment that certainly reassures me that I made the right choice not to wear the red dress. It makes me smile.
A waitress has a job to serve the guests. She is to be noticed when she is needed. Other than that no one is interested in a waitress. People go to bars and restaurants to eat, drink and socialize with their friends. Not to look at the staff. The staff should be friendly and approachable. As a waitress I never once believed that I was paid to entertain. To be polite, yes. To be helpful, yes. To serve, yes. But nothing else.
I have worked in bars and restaurants before Rocket. It was mostly to aid to my other income and back in 1994 as a main job for the one and a half years before I went to college.
It is true that I grew up in Muslim family and Muslim community. The last time I felt religious was in 1989. Religion has nothing to do with this case.
This is a simple case of dignity.
None of the people that I know would want their daughters working in that dress in a restaurant/bar.
Those who have been quick to comment about this case in a negative way should re-read the story and pay attention to what is said and written. The case has nothing to do with religion.
I love England. This is my home now. I have spent most of my life here and I am openly grateful to people who live here and who have with their intelligence created a country with rules and regulations and protection to those who may need it.
Although I was born in Bosnia I don’t feel Bosnian more than I feel British. I love both countries in a different way and thanks to such uneducated posts that I have read in response to the article, I yet again feel like I don’t belong to either of the two nations.
And who are any of us to claim a piece of land, a city, a country, for ourselves?
Is your house really yours? Are you really English, Bosnian, Australian, Turkish, Indian, etc., as you may believe that you are? Look at your history. Look at the migrations that humankind has been through during all our times.
The law is here to protect all of us. And I thank those who have created all those laws. And I thank all those who are willing to decide what is right and what is wrong. We all live in one world where we should all be free and be good to one another. Treat each other with love and respect. Help those who need help and protect those who need protecting.
Life and the World are something that you and I have been given and we are equally allowed to enjoy them. All of our lives...
I must also clarify another rather major issue with this story.
After I was no longer working for Rocket I telephoned to inquire about the money that I was owed for the work that I had done. I was told that I would not be paid, as they “would rather give that money to their existing staff”. I was finally paid 7 months later during the Tribunal. The Tribunal judge simply said that I should be paid. I was given cash.
Now, does one have to posses great intellect to know that staff are to be paid? Would you have to wait for the Tribunal to tell you that you should pay your staff?
If I was paid within the 26 days that it took me to see a lawyer I would have most probably never taken any action against them. It felt incredibly unfair and I felt helpless.
The restaurant made a mistake. They insulted me, and all the females. They put the girls in dresses to attract more attention. They cared not that a waitress is already of lower class than those that she serves. Put her in a red lycra dress and you demean her not just as a waitress, but as a person.
I am not unconscious of the fact that working as a waitress is not glamorous. I am ok with that. If it bothered me I would have never looked for a job as a waitress.
I would rather that we all be happy than that we all be superstars or bankers. And the truth is that we all can be happy, we just need to open our hearts and respect one another.
I am not here to belittle anyone or to complain. I have already complained and the law says that I should not have been treated the way that I was. It’s simple. Religion never came in to it. Had I been born in a Christian, Jew, Buddhist, Hindu, or Sikh.. a member of any family, I still would have acted the same. This issue deals with morals and principles. I acted with instinct. I never had to think about this at all. It is very straightforward:
I am a person. Not just an employee.
I am a person. Not just a woman.
I did not want to wear the dress. I would rather not work there than wear that dress. I also asked what the boys would be wearing. Their uniform was to remain the same. Is this fair?
Subsequently, they had no work for me. The restaurant could have kept me on to work in a different part of their establishment where they did not change the uniform. They did not.
So I finished the next two shifts and was then without work. I was very stunned with the restaurant's choice of uniform. I asked another waitress to take a photo of me wearing the dress to show to my friends and family why I no longer worked there.
I did not want to wear the dress so I no longer worked there.
Who is wrong and who is right is for the Tribunal to decide.
The £20000 compensation is not what I demand, not something I invented. The law states that this is the minimum amount one shall be paid by their employer if their employer is to be found to have treated him/her unfairly and discriminatory.
The journalist who was more interested in selling his story than telling the actual story has caused a lot of unnecessary trouble. He knew the case had nothing to do with religion. Thanks to people like him with money on their mind, soon, our world will be completely polluted by hate created by a few crafty creative writing journalists.
The article is unfair to Muslim people. I am not a representative of Muslim people.
Rocket restaurant is not a sex club! Anyone knows that.
I had said, at one point, that I thought that perhaps someone is out there holding a board with a sign pointing to Rocket saying something along the lines of it having waitresses to enjoy. And one would get paranoid if approached on regular basis. Then they bring out a rude dress. ???
At the end of the day, I don’t know much. I just go through life looking after myself. I looked after myself. I resisted to someone's demand of me to behave in an undignified way.
I wish that all of you and your daughters, sisters, mothers, cousins... That all women feel strong enough to stand up for their dignity. Regardless of their age, religion or sexual orientation.
Fata Lemes
UPDATE 05.02.2009:
The news is that the restaurant has put in application to reopen the trial to consider the picture of me published by The Sun. The photograph in question was taken during a beach holiday which was then tagged by a friend on Facebook, which subsequently was taken by the press from my Facebook account without my knowledge.
Personal thought on the matter is more of a wonder at what point will I be considered as I am: just a normal woman? Have they read the posts and decided that the majority of people were right to disregard the decency which I seek? I asked for nothing but to be treated as a human.
I just hope that disputes like this will become a thing of the past.
Perhaps they will, once we eventually have robots to do our jobs where one will be allowed to treat them as one wishes, until poor machines acquire feelings. And on it goes. So this inspires a question if it would be wiser just to be decent to one another. (?)
You are here because you are interested in this story that has been told to us all so crassly.
The case has absolutely nothing to do with any religion at all.
It’s a simple matter of dignity and my want to retain mine.
When I started working at Rocket I was required to wear black clothes (trousers and shirt).
On my fourth shift at the restaurant I was given a red tight dress to wear. I immediately refused, as I did not believe that wearing a red dress was appropriate. The bar was already full of men who seem to believe that they can buy anything and parading around in a red dress would make me seem available.
I did not invent the notion that wearing a red dress means that a woman is sexy, flirty, easy, fun, available, and daring. This is what a red dress has come to represent in our culture. And “not many women can carry it off” according to rather a few stylists here in London.
According to one of the Sun's readers I "should be paid to wear a burka" because I am so ugly; a comment that certainly reassures me that I made the right choice not to wear the red dress. It makes me smile.
A waitress has a job to serve the guests. She is to be noticed when she is needed. Other than that no one is interested in a waitress. People go to bars and restaurants to eat, drink and socialize with their friends. Not to look at the staff. The staff should be friendly and approachable. As a waitress I never once believed that I was paid to entertain. To be polite, yes. To be helpful, yes. To serve, yes. But nothing else.
I have worked in bars and restaurants before Rocket. It was mostly to aid to my other income and back in 1994 as a main job for the one and a half years before I went to college.
It is true that I grew up in Muslim family and Muslim community. The last time I felt religious was in 1989. Religion has nothing to do with this case.
This is a simple case of dignity.
None of the people that I know would want their daughters working in that dress in a restaurant/bar.
Those who have been quick to comment about this case in a negative way should re-read the story and pay attention to what is said and written. The case has nothing to do with religion.
I love England. This is my home now. I have spent most of my life here and I am openly grateful to people who live here and who have with their intelligence created a country with rules and regulations and protection to those who may need it.
Although I was born in Bosnia I don’t feel Bosnian more than I feel British. I love both countries in a different way and thanks to such uneducated posts that I have read in response to the article, I yet again feel like I don’t belong to either of the two nations.
And who are any of us to claim a piece of land, a city, a country, for ourselves?
Is your house really yours? Are you really English, Bosnian, Australian, Turkish, Indian, etc., as you may believe that you are? Look at your history. Look at the migrations that humankind has been through during all our times.
The law is here to protect all of us. And I thank those who have created all those laws. And I thank all those who are willing to decide what is right and what is wrong. We all live in one world where we should all be free and be good to one another. Treat each other with love and respect. Help those who need help and protect those who need protecting.
Life and the World are something that you and I have been given and we are equally allowed to enjoy them. All of our lives...
I must also clarify another rather major issue with this story.
After I was no longer working for Rocket I telephoned to inquire about the money that I was owed for the work that I had done. I was told that I would not be paid, as they “would rather give that money to their existing staff”. I was finally paid 7 months later during the Tribunal. The Tribunal judge simply said that I should be paid. I was given cash.
Now, does one have to posses great intellect to know that staff are to be paid? Would you have to wait for the Tribunal to tell you that you should pay your staff?
If I was paid within the 26 days that it took me to see a lawyer I would have most probably never taken any action against them. It felt incredibly unfair and I felt helpless.
The restaurant made a mistake. They insulted me, and all the females. They put the girls in dresses to attract more attention. They cared not that a waitress is already of lower class than those that she serves. Put her in a red lycra dress and you demean her not just as a waitress, but as a person.
I am not unconscious of the fact that working as a waitress is not glamorous. I am ok with that. If it bothered me I would have never looked for a job as a waitress.
I would rather that we all be happy than that we all be superstars or bankers. And the truth is that we all can be happy, we just need to open our hearts and respect one another.
I am not here to belittle anyone or to complain. I have already complained and the law says that I should not have been treated the way that I was. It’s simple. Religion never came in to it. Had I been born in a Christian, Jew, Buddhist, Hindu, or Sikh.. a member of any family, I still would have acted the same. This issue deals with morals and principles. I acted with instinct. I never had to think about this at all. It is very straightforward:
I am a person. Not just an employee.
I am a person. Not just a woman.
I did not want to wear the dress. I would rather not work there than wear that dress. I also asked what the boys would be wearing. Their uniform was to remain the same. Is this fair?
Subsequently, they had no work for me. The restaurant could have kept me on to work in a different part of their establishment where they did not change the uniform. They did not.
So I finished the next two shifts and was then without work. I was very stunned with the restaurant's choice of uniform. I asked another waitress to take a photo of me wearing the dress to show to my friends and family why I no longer worked there.
I did not want to wear the dress so I no longer worked there.
Who is wrong and who is right is for the Tribunal to decide.
The £20000 compensation is not what I demand, not something I invented. The law states that this is the minimum amount one shall be paid by their employer if their employer is to be found to have treated him/her unfairly and discriminatory.
The journalist who was more interested in selling his story than telling the actual story has caused a lot of unnecessary trouble. He knew the case had nothing to do with religion. Thanks to people like him with money on their mind, soon, our world will be completely polluted by hate created by a few crafty creative writing journalists.
The article is unfair to Muslim people. I am not a representative of Muslim people.
Rocket restaurant is not a sex club! Anyone knows that.
I had said, at one point, that I thought that perhaps someone is out there holding a board with a sign pointing to Rocket saying something along the lines of it having waitresses to enjoy. And one would get paranoid if approached on regular basis. Then they bring out a rude dress. ???
At the end of the day, I don’t know much. I just go through life looking after myself. I looked after myself. I resisted to someone's demand of me to behave in an undignified way.
I wish that all of you and your daughters, sisters, mothers, cousins... That all women feel strong enough to stand up for their dignity. Regardless of their age, religion or sexual orientation.
Fata Lemes
UPDATE 05.02.2009:
The news is that the restaurant has put in application to reopen the trial to consider the picture of me published by The Sun. The photograph in question was taken during a beach holiday which was then tagged by a friend on Facebook, which subsequently was taken by the press from my Facebook account without my knowledge.
Personal thought on the matter is more of a wonder at what point will I be considered as I am: just a normal woman? Have they read the posts and decided that the majority of people were right to disregard the decency which I seek? I asked for nothing but to be treated as a human.
I just hope that disputes like this will become a thing of the past.
Perhaps they will, once we eventually have robots to do our jobs where one will be allowed to treat them as one wishes, until poor machines acquire feelings. And on it goes. So this inspires a question if it would be wiser just to be decent to one another. (?)
Hello. I just wanted to post on here saying that I, however little it may count for, think you did the right thing. I think you have every right to not submit to being stared at as part of the job of waiting staff. You sum up that job succinctly and excellently yourself. I don't count for much; I'm poor and of little influence but I wished to convey the sense that there are some people in Britain who see your side, even without having to read your blog (though I did read it, and it is very well written.)
ReplyDeleteI wish you every good fortune in the future; you deserve some good luck.
Too bad the media is always trying to sell hate and twist the truth.
ReplyDeleteI read the title in many news media and in more than one language, but its amazing how they twist!
The Journalist, need to be honest in presenting the incidents, but sadly most of them are not.
Fata, do not be sad, you did the right thing and of course you deserve a better place to work for, I wish you all the best.
I will bookmark here, and will spread the blog out.
I wish you all the best with this.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds awful how you've been pounced on by the Daily Mail and their like. We are not all like them. I would have done exactly the same as you, what a ridiculous dress they would put you in! It doesn't look like it would suit many women, and it would just make a job dealing with drunk men even more uncomfortable. They clung on to Muslim aspect because they are so intent on making people hate Muslims, they are obsessed and it is sick.
I am so sorry that your situation has been made worse by this poor excuse of journalism. The journalist gets his paycheque because he knows what trash sells at his newspaper. He lacks any integrity.
They called the suffragettes ugly as well. It's a way to shut up women. They'll grab onto what our society considers our greatest asset in an attempt to put us in our place. Let it make you stronger, because it shows their insecurities and that they're threatened by the stance your taking. You are standing up for yourself, and these types just don't like that.
All the best!
Way to go, Fata. You're right. This is about personal dignity.
ReplyDeleteyou have my support and my sympathy, sister. may God help you in this fight against those sexist employers. Women should be treated with dignity and respect. I am sorry that you were treated like a prostitute by male customers-- some people are seriously disgusting human beings.
ReplyDeleteThank you for taking the time to try to clarify things. For the record, I understand that your choice was unrelated to any religious ties. But even if it were related, that doesn't make you any less entitled to your feelings. You are allowed to establish your own level of comfort. Whether that is based on religious beliefs or otherwise is irrelevant.
ReplyDeleteFor what its worth, I think you're completely justified in your actions. If something makes you uncomfortable, no one has the right to try to force you to do it. You should be paid for the good work you do and be allowed to maintain your pride while you do it. And that means different things of each of us. I can see how some women might not be bothered at all by the new dress "uniform" and I can also see why you're bothered very much by it. I'm a little disgusted with the level of anger some people have shown you over what should be a very personal & private situation. And it's even worse that the media made your Muslim upbringing the focal point of the story when that's not the issue at all.
Good luck with everything.
Well done! People of all genders, races, and sexual orientations should stand up for their rights more often. In this case you absolutely did the right thing by refusing to wear that dress when you felt uncomfortable with it. Employers who push that women should be 'sexy' in order to be 'good employees' are to me promoting the idea that our daughters should grow up valuing themselves only as objects to be gawked at by men. The dress itself is an issue but the bigger issue is a lack of payment and a lack of understanding for your point of view and your qualms with being placed in a female-unfriendly environment. Well done in taking a stand, the world needs more people like you :)
ReplyDeleteI should add, also, that not all journalists are like this. As someone who has some experience in the media industry I have seen a lot of exaggeration at the expense of the truth, but there are some of us out there who would rather tell it as it is than to exploit people for profit. Just so you know, there are some good journalists out there still :)
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis is a wonderful letter that made me empathize with you very much. It's very thoughtful, well-reasoned, and free of obfuscating emotional argument; while still letting the reader know exactly where you stand. When, as a student, I was unjustly fired at a waitressing job I asked my roommate's brother (a well-respected lawyer) if I should have been fired when I slipped and concussed myself. He said no - but no lawyer would ever take my case because the payoff would only be around 1k for myself and less for them. At the time, I was a freshman in college and teaching adult ESL to recent immigrants as part of a volunteer program through my college. I realized that while I had lost my job and could afford to shrug it off, many of the people I worked with couldn't. Almost all of them had children and homes and were the sole supporters of their families and would be devastated to find themselves so completely and suddenly without income. I had connected with many of these people and I was furious, and, as you said, it felt incredibly unfair and I felt helpless. So I went to law school and became a lawyer. I talked about what I just said in my entrance essay. As you pointed out in your letter, the law is here to protect *all* of us. While I am an attorney in the US and am not familiar with the 20 thousand pound award, these things are there for a reason - they are deterrents. They protect you, as much as possible, from being walked on. The law is there to make true what people believe, which is that the society they live in is as fair as possible in an unequally weighted world, and that people should try to comply with the rules consolidated by a democratic society. If you were only awarded what your shifts were worth by the dollar (or pound), there would be no incentive for companies to hold to the agreements they'd signed with workers. If employers chose to arbitrarily fire a worker, many employees would just walk away, victim either of themselves or of circumstances. But since most of us don't want to live in a world where we always have to fear that something like that will happen to us, we have laws and a system in place that effectively ensures that those laws will, most likely, be followed. Shame on Rocket for trying to get away with breaking their own agreement. Shame for trying to get away with it by using complacency, poverty, unfamiliarity with the legal system, and public vilification. Thank you, Lemes, for enforcing your rights so the rest of us can enjoy ours.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a muslin, nor even a religious person, and I totally agree with you. It shouldn't be a job requirement that a female waitress shows off her skin to please male customers. I wish you the best (and that you keep us posted, if you can).
ReplyDeleteYou are awesome, Fata! And you're a great writer -- good luck with your case!
ReplyDeleteHi Fata,
ReplyDeleteJust to say that I've been furious with the rubbish in the press, stalking you online to look down your top like the bunch of sleazebags that they are, all the while harping on about Islam, when it was never an issue of religion in the first place. It was an issue of being paid for the work that you had done in good faith.
Glad you got some compensation.
I LOVE YOUR CLEAVAGE, WHY NOT GET AN ARTIST TO DRAW YOU TOPLESS AND HAVE IT POSTED ON THE NET.
ReplyDelete